Lavender Valley High Classless Reunion

Frustrated with the lack of progress at reviving The Prom...You Never Went To!, the Revisionist History Committee (RHC) has announced exclusively to The Poodleer, Your student Body Newspaper, that they will host a summer-long series of events to commemorate The Prom and all the Student Bodies who have drifted away from Our School since its unfortunate demise.

RHC is calling their series of events the Lavender Valley High School Classless Reunion. It will be held starting June 23 and will culminate in a special excursion aboard the Queen City Cruise on August 11, 2007. The Cruise finale of Classless Reunion events is called Pier Pressure.

Disarray in the planning committees has scuttled The Prom for the past ten years. A new group hopes to revive its Spirit with the Classless Reunion

Shawn Flannerty, executive director of RHC, told me in an exclusive interview while he was signing autographs in the second-floor hallway, that he hopes to "revive the flagging School Spirit" at Lavender Valley High with a summer-wide series of events.

"We're inviting everyone who's ever been a part of LVHS to come back to the valley and help us show our School Spirit this summer," Shawn whispered in my ear, distracting me to no end. "We mean everyone -- student bodies, jocks, nerds, goths, sailor boys -- including all teachers, administrators and even the librarians who always complained that nobody here was interested in studying."

Shawn signed t-shirts and notebook covers for his adoring fans while he continued to tell me about his group's Fabulous Plans. "We're going to have something for everyone this summer," he said while flashing me that knock-em-dead smile of his. "We're even inviting anyone who wants to do it to host their own Classless Reunion parties."

Ever since the last dance played in Our School's gymnasium for what turned out to be the last edition of The Prom...You Never Went To! way back when in 1997, student bodies at Our Fair School have been trying to revive the grand tradition of the Lavender Valley High School Prom.

We've come close a few times, but disagreement always breaks out between the Prom Committee and other groups like Committee for a Professional School Dance (CPSD). This spring, it almost looked like CPSP would pull off a revival of The Prom. They booked the ballroom of a downtown hotel and it looked like we'd finally be able to enjoy a night of Spring Dancing and Shenanigans there. But the Prom Committee stepped in and insisted that they were the only group Authorized by the Administration to host a school dance.

As we reported (exclusively) here in The Poodleer, CPSD had already tried to host a couple of smaller dances earlier in the year. In the fall, CPSD sponsored a Homecoming Dance at a neighborhood hall. Unfortunately for everyone, nobody in CPSD realized that they should actually tell people about their dance. They figured that if they held the dance, the student bodies would come. CPSD told their friends about it but that was about it.

Reports that reached us here at The Poodleer, your student body newspaper, indicate that even the cool-crowd friends of CPSD didn't show up for their dance. CPSD lost plenty of money on that, but they've never been willing to tell anyone just how much they lost.

Pretty much the same thing happened when CPSD tried to hold their Winter Wonderland mixer in the winter. CPSD advertised that one in The Poodleer and with signs all over the school, but they scheduled it for Christmas Eve. It turns out none of the kids in school could get permission to go out to a party that night. Again, CPSD lost a boat-load of bucks, but they refused to say how much.

Back in February, as we reported here in The Poodleer, CPSD convinced Billy to read an announcement over the loudspeaker system that the group would be changing its name. "CPSD will be known from now on as Student Committee United Bravely (SCRUB)," Billy read for everyone to hear -- not realizing that The Administration had banned announcements from CPSD. It didn't work for Billy to claim that this was an announcement from SCRUB. Billy was taken off the PA and given two weeks of detention.

Even though the administration didn't let the new-name group make announcements on the PA system, we here at The Poodleer, Your Student Body Newspaper, feel it's our Journalistic Responsibility to print anyone's press releases. That's why we printed SCRUB's announcement in February that they would be sponsoring The Prom...You Never Went To! this year. A lot of kids at school were excited about finally getting to celebrate The Prom at a downtown ballroom. The Prom Committee wasn't so excited.

Deseree des Ruption, the Prom Committee's "interim chairperson", cornered us outside The Poodleer offices just after we printed SCRUB's press release. "How dare you!" she screached. "Hoow dare yooou!" Once we got her partly settled down, Deseree burbled on about how she was upset that we printed the SCRUB announcement. "We're the only ones who can do a Prom," Desiree insisted. "And we're working closely with The Administration to get it done this year."

But, of course, neither the Prom Committee nor SCRUB got it done in April, which meant that we suffered through our tenth Spring without The Prom. That's why the RHC has stepped in to create a new way to celebrate LVHS School Spirit.