An early history of Tacky Tourist Clubs: Lights, 1983

by Robin Evans

Somewhere in Iowa, as a family shows a slide show of their vacation in "The Other Washington -- the State" they pause for laughter and shocked questions. The viewers are startled out of their lethargy by a shot of a tour boat packed with hundreds of scantily dressed men, a few women, and -- what's this? A mermaid with a beard? And isn't that a nun over there? But she has a beard too!

Tourists from Iowa, Idaho, or even Ballard itself, will have a chance to take just such a shot on August 6 when the Goodtime II passes through the Ballard locks on its way to and from a planned rendezvous with the exotic denizens of Madison Beach during the Third Annual Queen City Cruise.

Click to enlarge [popup] The Cruise, which first sailed in 1981, is a very unofficial and nontraditional gay contribution to Seattle's annual water-sports extravaganza, Seafair. It is presented each year by a group whose name has become among the best known in Seattle's gay community -- Tacky Tourist Clubs of America.

Few people had heard of the group before that first "Naughtycal Adventure on the High Seas" in '81. Although the Tacky Tourists had already sponsored two excursions, those were more parties among friends than major fundraising events.

When the Mormon Temple was completed in Bellevue, the church promoted visits to its new suburban edifice. The antigay and anti-ERA stances of the church prompted a group of Seattle gay men and their friends to visit the complex as a form of gentle protest.

Randy Henson organized the tour. Someone mentioned that the temple must be really tacky. "That's where the name came from," Henson said. "We decided to make invitations with a high-falutin' name and promote it with a real big-business approach." Henson and friends invented Bruce, a cheeky "Whang 6900" computer. Invitations were printed by Bruce with a personalized "Dear Mr. and Mrs. ______" on each of the form letters. "It's all tongue in cheek."

When the group later organized a symbolic exodus to Canada in honor of Ronald Reagan's 1980 inauguration, they were accompanied by one character, Seafirst founder Dexter Horton.

The characters that would become a hallmark of Tacky Tourist events appeared in full bloom for the first Queen City Cruise. The bearded mermaid and nun were the stars of the trip, and of at least a few vacationer's slide shows. Ricky Rankin has created many of the best-known Tacky Tourist characters. His Sister Mary Discipline was emcee of the first Queen City Cruise and many events since then.

"We want to create our own world," Rankin explained in a voice that constantly threatens to spill over into that of one of his characters. "We want our own universe, just like planet Claire where people have no hair and everything is pink."

The group is able to create a universe of fun for hundreds through a form of ensemble creativity. David Losh suggested the Satsop tour. Rankin created Mr. Science to provide the tourists with a lecture enroute. Ann McCaffrey developed the original notion for a prom takeoff. The creative interaction of the Tourists created an event where hundreds of costumed partiers participated in the fantasy of The Prom …You Never Went To!

Although some events sponsored by the group have lost money, the Tacky Tourists have shown themselves to be the most consistently successful major-event fund raising organization in gay Seattle. Their creative talents are requested even at events sponsored by other groups, such as the recent Moonlight on the Sound cruise.

Advance tickets for the first Queen City Cruise did not sell well. On the day before the cruise was to sail, only 20% of the tickets needed to break even had been sold. The Tacky Tourists showed their phenomenal promotional abilities that night during a whirlwind tour of the city's bars as they passed out copies of a flier identified as Northwest Inqueerier to stir interest in the event. When the boat left Pier 55 the next day, it was full. Last year, tickets for the second Queen City Cruise sold out weeks in advance.

In its own way, the Queen City Cruise has become a Seafair tradition, the gay contribution to Seattle's summer celebration. The Tacky Tourists have, in the process, become an institution in Seattle's gay community.

That is a position with which none of the group's members is entirely comfortable. "It started out being a fun thing, a hobby," Henson said. "Now we find we get a lot of requests and demands on our time as individuals." Pride and regret seem to mix in Henson's expression as he admits, "People are starting to take us more seriously then we ever intended to be taken."

Members of the group do not get paid for the work they do on the fundraisers. The members of Tacky Tourists have paid for the losses incurred by a few of the events they have sponsored.

"It costs us money to do this," Rickey Whold said as he struggled to adjust the mermaid costume which has made him something of a mascot for the Tacky Tourists.

"It costs us psychically and physically," Ricky Rankin agreed.

Tacky Tourist Clubs of America still has no formal structure. It is, as it was in 1981 when it sponsored that trip to the Mormon Temple, little more than a group of friends who get together to sponsor wacky events. But the success of the group's fundraising activities has put pressure on its members to define the goals and purposes of the organization.

Its members began to hammer out the future direction and goals of the organization on July 15 when the seven guiding lights of the Tacky Tourist Clubs of America met at the large and elegant house that serves as an incongruous boarding house for many members of the group. It is work to transform a hobby into a formal organization. Final decisions about the structure of the TTCA were not agreed on at the July meeting, but Henson said major shifts of focus are unlikely.

The group will continue to present its events as fund raisers for "non-profit community service organizations." Henson said the group must define more clearly the eligible groups and develop a schedule for their events.

But the Tacky Tourists see themselves as more than a fund raising outfit. "We want to provide an outlet for people to utilize their skills," Henson said. Some events which have lost money are considered successes nonetheless. "Our events bring people together in an atmosphere where they can have fun." Barriers break down in the world of the Tacky Tourists. "We want to show that you can have your cake and eat it too," Ricky Rankin explained, "as long as you polyurethane half of it."

Quest for Power, the 1982 excursion to the Satsop nuclear plants' construction site cost more than was raised by ticket sales. "It wasn't successful financially," Henson said, "but other than that, it was a wonderful tour. Everybody had a great time, including our one outsider."

A student who rode with the mostly gay group to Satsop was very uncomfortable with his fellow passengers at the beginning of the trip. "He started out anti-gay and pro-nuke," Henson said. "When it was over, he told us he had become anti-nuke and pro-gay."

"The Tacky Tourists are totally plastic," Rankin explained as David Losh wandered by wearing an ensemble of enough clashing polyester to offend even the most tasteless conventioneers. "We exist in spite of DuPont."