Queen City Cruise: Tours, 2001-2004
2001: [No cruise]
The question at right was posed on this web site
in early 2001. The answer was finally provided in March: We won't. The summer
of '01 became a time for reflection and regeneration instead of a time for
Cruise planning. For the first time in 20 years, the Goodtime II did not motor
off on Seafair Saturday with the bright red lips on its bow.
Fortunately, anniversaries can be calculated in a couple of ways. Since the first Cruise was in 1981, the 20th Anniversary was celebrated in 2002.
2002: Hunky Sea Monkey Do (Sea Monkey Tour)
The 2002 Queen City Cruise marked the 20th
Anniversary of what many consider the town's premier party. Intrepid tourists
were invited to celebrate the anniversary with a salute to the Sea Monkey, those
"instant pets" that are guaranteed to grow (and who doesn't love that phenomenon) when
you just add water.
It's always a challenge -- whether to dress down for the sea and sun or dress up as only a tacky tourist can. Whatever you choose, don't monkey around with the usual. Be bold and make a splash. This year, our appraisers of fine fashion will carefully examine and judge our guests to find the Hunkiest Sea Monkey,the truly Terrifying Tourist and Best Tighty-Whites. The boldest fashion statements on the Cruise will garner their bearers Valuable Prizes!
2003: Tourist Alert Tour
The following "news" story was detected a few months prior to the 2003 Cruise:
The "treat level" maintained by the Department of Homoland Security may soon be raised a notch. The PA has learned from sources close to the department that "chatter" intercepted by intelligence sources indicates that a tourist attack may be imminent. (Chatter is the name given by intelligence agencies to the intercepted emails and phone conversations that are then used to create fictions about treats.)
Intelligence sources believe that the treat attack is being organized by a tourist cell led by a shadowy character known only as Bruce.
The exact location of the treat is unknown at this time, according to our sources, because the tourist cell is using the code word "Queen City" in their planning.
Even the nature of the treat is a subject of debate within the department. Most of the chatter, sources tell us, speaks of a so-called "cruise". Some department officials believe that "Cruise" is another code word. Others in the department believe that the tourist cell is actually planning to carry out their treat from a nautical device, perhaps a boat.
The date of the treat is the only thing that seems certain to department officials. "We know that they're planning to do it on Saturday, August 2, 2003", said Department Sub-Functionary Paul Swollentitz on the Faux News Sunday talk show Face the Music.
Swollentitz insisted during the interview that Bruce's tourist cell which uses the code name "Tacky Tourists" has obtained Methods of Mass Distraction (MMD). "Although we're not yet sure where they came from," Swollentitz said, "we are certain that this group is now in possession of MMDs."
Swollentitz said that this cell is especially dangerous because of the MMDs. "We know they have them. We're certain they will use them."
2004: LoveMuscle
From the beginning, The Queen City Cruise has been dubbed An Unforgivable Naughtycal Adventure on the High Seas. The 2004 excursion threatened just a bit naughtier than normal as the outrageous party celebrates the theme, LoveMuscle. And who doesn't? Do U?
 "Do U LoveMuscle?")
Tickets for the August 7, 2004 event sold out almost two weeks in advance. Even the dozens of stand-by tickets offered in the case of a sellout were snatched up a week ahead of time.
A few weeks before the party cruise, Randy Henson, founder and event coordinator for Tacky Tourist Clubs attributed the fast pace of ticket sales to a carry-over effect of last year's party. "With so many of our regular Cruisers opting to go to Vancouver last year to celebrate the legal recognition of gay unions in Canada, we had lots of room for cruise virgins. A lot of those people had such a good time that they're coming back, and they're bringing friends with them."
Henson also mentioned that, for the first time in many years, the date for the Queen City Cruise does not coincide with Vancouver Pride festivities. "Being the week after Vancouver Pride means that people won't have to choose one event over the other, and some have the stamina to do both.
"There are lots of folks who go to Vancouver every year because it's so much fun," Henson commented, "and who have never been on The Cruise. To them I advise, Vancouver Pride is a nice training camp for the joyous rigors of The Cruise. Obviously, the Cruise is a much smaller event, but it packs a wallop that many people are just never ready for."
Click for enlargement (in Gallery section)
LoveMuscle photos
Enjoy LoveMuscle all over again or get a hint of what went on if you missed the boat in 2004. Photographers Antonio Gonzales, Mark Weeks, and Gene provided a fine collection of party snapshots of the muscle bois and other fabulous party folk who made the 2004 Queen City Cruise LoveMuscle.
2005: Flambuoyant!
Stares of confusion and disbelief were common at Pier 55 and at the Ballard Locks, where throngs of innocent bystanders witnessed yet another maiden voyage of Seattle's premier floating party cruise: the Queen City Cruise!
The event began dockside at 1100 hours on Saturday, August 6 with a free pre-boarding extravaganza at Pier 55 featuring Seattle's finest entertainers and lovely and lively hosts, "second tier regional sensation" Bitsy Bates and Marina Dennis -- direct from Miami Beach. Then, just past noon, nearly 500 anxious adventurers embarked on a titillating tour of Seattle's wettest spots -- its scenic harbor and glistening inland passages.
Dazzling entertainment
Entertainers included Lily Armani, Lady Chablis, Trinity Storm, Poison Waters, Ryan McCabe, and more! We welcomed Kevin, aka LaVanda DelaRosa, as entertainment coordinator for Queen City Cruise: Flambuoyant!
The party people aboard the decorated, loud, and very gay Goodtime once again became a major attraction themselves as the party boat passed through the Ballard Locks. A lock-tender called it "the best boat we get in here all year long" as he urged tourists to stick around to watch the show. A small fleet of pleasure boaters followed the Cruise as the Goodtime II made its circuit through the Ship Canal and Lake Union.
A long party tradition
A 24-year Seattle tradition, the Queen City Cruise is an Unforgettable Naughtycal Adventure on the High Seas and a deliciously deviant contribution to Seafair, Seattle's water sports extravaganza.
There was something for everyone on board: soaking in the sights and sun on the front bow on a gloriously hot and sunny Saturday afternoon, shaking the booty to really great dance music, drinking cool libations served by fun-loving bartenders, and sampling the edibles at a bountiful and complimentary buffet provided by Timberline Spirits.
Contests and fabulous prizes
And if all that isn't tempting enough, there were contests and prizes -- including the coveted traditional award for "Coming the Greatest Distance". The costume judging categories for Flambuoyant! were Buff Buoy and Bodacious Buoyette along with Most Flambuoyant Tourist. For this one time only, we also offered a prize featuring a key to the Spokane mayor's closet in the decidedly non-buoyant category Most Likely to Go Down.
Cruisers in 2005 weren't shy about dressing up (or down) for the occasion. Many made a splash as they fluffed up the feathers or glittering boas and brought out the bling. When dressing (or undressing) for the Cruise, anything (and, for some, nearly nothing) goes! And many went there.
Another sellout
Flambuoyant! became a sell-out just after noon on Tuesday, July 26. Standby tickets were sold through the evening of Thursday, August 4. Nearly 30 of the standby guests were able to board the Goodtime for the party cruise, but several of the late ticket buyers had to be turned away with only a refund.
