Queen City Cruise: Tours, 1981-1985
1981: The Queen City Cruise
 "Publicity photo for first Cruise poster. Click to enlarge")
Posters for the new and uncommon event showed two sailors in dress whites looking toward the Seattle skyline from a state ferry while they fondled each other's butts. A tourist, sporting a plastic bag filled with an inflatable Space Needle and plastic Boeing jet, looked on in shock as her husband snapped a picture.
And so the mood was set, even though the sponsors of the excursion -- a group called "Tacky Tourist Clubs of America" -- were mostly unknown.
 "The Inqueerier: Publicity flyer for first Cruise. Click to enlarge")
When ticket sales were slow, Tacky Tourist Clubs introduced its first (but not its last) fake newspaper. Copies of The Northwest Inqueerier were passed out to bar patrons in the days before Seafair Saturday to generate interest in this new event.
Despite the slow start to ticket sales, the Goodtime II left its downtown pier packed with ticket holders sporting a wide variety of tourist costumes and a healthy share of scantilly-clad sun-worshipers.
The event, held as Tacky Tourist Clubs' first benefit, netted about $900 for SEAMEC.
1982: The Second Annual Queen City Cruise
There are many stories about the final hours of the second Queen City Cruise. None of them can be verified. The tourists seemed to agree, however, that they had never had such a good time on the high seas.
The Goodtime II had to turn back before reaching its Madison Beach rendevous, so for the second time, Lake Washington remained elusive.
Proceeds from the second Cruise -- about $2700 -- benefitted SEAMEC, Seattle Counseling Service, and The Dorian Group.
1983: The Third Annual Queen City Cruise
 "Flier cover from third Cruise. Click to enlarge")
A dock-side pre-boarding show was added to the already packed Cruise itinerary, giving brunchers at neighboring restaurants and tourists embarking or returning from more sedate Argosy cruises a chance to be as shocked as the fake tourists in the publicity photo.
Ann McCaffray served as tour directory. Sister Mary Discipline again made a "miraculous appearance", this time with the "Altar Boys". Natasha was a featured performer. Costume categories were Salty Seafairer, Modern Mobility, Palm Beach Punk, and Successful Suburbanite.
1984: The Fourth Annual Queen City Cruise
 "Flier cover from fourth Cruise. Click to enlarge")
The fourth cruise offered costume judging in these categories: Hollywood Hillbilly, Shopping Mall Chic, Terribly Tropical, and (in a salute to what had become a requirement) Latex Lunacy. Sister Mary Discipline again performed as cruise host, introducing performances by Mary Kay Mermaid, Fistful of Crinoline, Julia Childless, and the newcomer Tinkerbelle.
1985: Voyage Beyond the Trendisphere
 "Flier cover from fifth Cruise. Click to enlarge")
In its fifth year, the Queen City Cruise gained a tour theme. The 1985 event proposed to take cruisers on a Voyage Beyond the Trendisphere. Whether it actually did that or not is a subject of some debate among Cruise historians. But at least Vaughn Frick's illustration for the publicity fliers and posters provided a new look at the map of the Seattle area. It inspires this trivia question: Is the Bruce-sun in the image rising or setting?
Costumes were judged in the following categories: Tremendously Tropical, Neurotically Nautical, Pleasingly Punk (to prove that we weren't venturing too far from the trendisphere), and Uppity Yuppity. Sister Mary Discipline once again left her Lavender Valley High principal's office to serve as host. Featured Entertainers included Natasha, the Fabulous Winnebagos, The Waitresses, Tinkerbelle. A highlight of the pre-boarding show was a special appearance by QE2.
