Queen City Cruise: Tours, 1996-2000
1996: Sunshine Tour of the Moons and Stars
The '96 Cruise honored those young men who, from the very start of the Queen City Cruise, have offered cruisers a view of their smooth pink butts. There is almost always a boatload or two of boys who gladly moon the Goodtime. It's sometimes unclear what exactly the boaters mean by the revelation, but that rarely matters. There have been several impressive full-moons rising during the cruise.
1997: Treasure Chest Tour
[Gallery]The Cruise adopted a pirate theme in 1997 that attracted
a group of guys with chests to be treasured and who provided one of the all-time favorite images in a photo by
Jimmy Malecki.
[Gallery]The
theme also inspired master Tacky Tourist Clubs decorator, Scott Gray,
to create another memorable entry for the Pride Parade/March. His mermaids appeared to be sitting on
trunks of sunken treasure, but managed to walk the entire march route on barely-noticed legs.
1998: A Salute to Seamen
 "Publicity graphic for 1998 Cruise. Click to enlarge")
Click to enlarge [popup]The
official line was that the theme celebrated "seamen" as in guys who sail the oceans blue,
and not the homophone "semen". Yeah, sure. Scott Britt's logo illustration tells the real
story as did the small white towels passed out to cruisers, some of which included the legend
"US Navy Semen". (The official line was that the rags were bought at a steep discount because
the Navy's printer had messed up. Uh huh.)
 "Publicity towel for 1998 Cruise. Click to enlarge")
The tour was hosted by Mark "Moms" Finley and Marina Dennis. Dockside and on-deck performers included Gaysha Starr, Kahlua Ice, Isabella Packaweenie, and The Fabulous Winnebagos. Costume categories were "Best Tattoo on a Sailor" or "Tackiest Tatoo (real or fake)".
1999: Shagadelic Tour
Inspired by a certain crooked-toothed international man of mystery (Yeah, baby!), the 1999 cruise was called The Shagadelic Tour and promised to be a flashback to '69, the Summer of Love. A flyer for the Austin Powers spy-centered theme promised that "[t]he international intrigue on the boat will be a preview to this fall's Seattle meeting of the World Trade Organization..."
Fortunately for us all, it was not much of a preview for what would really happen.
"Our own 'international man of mystery' has warned us," we wrote back then when few in Seattle had ever heard of the acronym WTO, "that our fair city will play host to spies and security police, along with a few dignitaries when the World Trade Organization holds its meeting in Seattle this fall."
Little did we guess just how completely the "security police" would overtake our fair city during the WTO meeting.
Cruisers who thought, in those more innocent days of July and August, that they understood the ways of the secret agent were invited to compete for prizes in either of two costume contests, "Best Chest (Hair)" or "Psychedelic Sexpot". As always, an award was also be presented to "The Tourist Who Comes the Farthest". In retrospect, we are happy that we were not far-sighted enough to offer a category called something like, oh... "Pepper-spray Patty".
Yeah, baby, it's summer! We've got our mojo running as we prepare for yet another maiden voyage of The Queen City Cruise. To prepare for the international intrigue, the Tacky Tourist Club's unofficial Seafair event will power out of the dock at noon on Saturday, August 7. While the rest of the town celebrates the climactic day of Seafair, Seattle's annual time-warp water-sports flashback to the 50s, we'll set our own time machine to "69" and flash back to the Summer of Love. Groovy, baby!
2000: Poly Tickle Party
The 2000 Queen City Cruise gave a nod (and a wink) to the year's political convention
season by convening its own highly unconventional Poly Tickle Party aboard the boat. All of the boring traditions of
the big conventions were abandoned for this feathery fringe party except
for one: Wacky costumes were welcomed onboard the boat. Prizes were be awarded in
two costume categories: Best Feathered Fantasy, and Most Deviant Delegation.
